15 books I read in 2015

So I am not really a reader.  It feels really weird for me to review books or to recommend them.  But for those of you who are and are much more faithful to read books even when you aren’t forced to, here are 15 books I read this past year!

(All titles are links to purchase the books on Amazon.  Books sorted in alphabetic order.)

  1. Anchored: Finding Hope in the Unexpected ; Kayla Aimee
    Find my review of Anchored here.Anchored
  2. Cinderella Ate My Daughter ; Peggy Orenstein
    I will admit, I had to read this for a class or probably never would have unless I somehow came across the sparkly cover.  There were parts of this book I hated and a few when I was really discouraged, but seeing this book through the eyes of a mom who  is concerned about the world her daughter is growing up in is so beneficial.  Great book for anyone interested in thinking about “girlhood” in a new light. Cinderella Ate my daughter
  3. Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer ; Priscilla Shirer

    Find my review of Fervent here.
    Fervent

  4. Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls–Sexual Identity, the Cyberbubble, Obsessions, Environmental Toxins ; Leonard Sax
    This book also falls into the category of books I had to read for class, but I am so thankful I did.  Dr. Sax writes this book both for parents and for any helping professionals who work with girls (e.g. teachers, pastors, counselors, etc.).  What I love about this book is that Dr. Sax not only elaborates on problems in girl world, he also offers solutions.
    girls on the edge
  5. Let’s All Be Brave: Living Life with Everything You Have; Annie Downs
    (Taken from my RESOURCES page)
    So I kind of had a girl crush on Annie when I listened to a sermon by her on singleness and found her at a conference in Nashville, TN. We talked about nail polish and she was super cool so I bought her book.  I am not the type to read a book all the way through in anything shorter than a couple years (if I ever finish), but I read this one in a month.  I felt like I was sitting and having coffee with Annie throughout every chapter.  It’s great. Read it.
    LABB
  6. Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World ; Bob Goff
    Where do I begin? I had this book for a long time and knew I needed to read it then finally did and I only wished I had read it sooner.  Bob Goff’s story is so cool, but hearing the lessons that he has learned throughout his life was both fun and inspiring.  Just read it, okay?
    Love Does
  7. Popular: Boys, Booze, and Jesus ; Tindell Baldwin
    I’ll admit, I was skeptical about this one, as I am about any thing with the subtitle “Boys, Booze, and Jesus”.  Tindell Baldwin is Kristian Stanfill’s (Vocalist and Guitarist, Passion Band) sister, who had a hard time growing up in his shadow or her family’s shadow in general.  In this book, she shares her experience of choosing boys, choosing booze, and eventually choosing Jesus.  We used this book for my high school girls’ small group and while they weren’t the best about reading it (surprise, surprise ;), Tindell’s vulnerability in this book lead to great and authentic discussions.  Also, she’s agreed to meet with us in March so STAY TUNED!
    POPULAR
  8. Salvaging My Identity ; Jennifer Mills & Rachel Lovingood
    My focus this summer was on Identity in Christ so I was on the lookout for any and all resources.  I loved the simplicity of this book that spoke to me at a 8th grade girl level (I feel so understood there). I also loved the format that was only 2-4 pages and an easy yet encouraging way to start my day! I sent this to all my middle school girl small group moms as a good read for middle school girls over the summer!
    Salvaging my identity
  9. So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids ; Diane Levin
    This also falls in the category of a book for class, but don’t lose sight there!  This book was extremely eye-opening but also frightening as I saw the rampant effects of hyper sexualization in children, 7 years ago, not to mention the rampant effects today. If you have a kid, work with kids, or know a kid, I would read this. But, be aware, you will get weird looks in coffee shops.
    SSSS
  10. The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance ; John Trent & Gary Smalley 
    I was a little hesitant to share this one, but the message and understanding of the importance of unconditional love from parents is so good. If you work with anyone who tells you about things they’re struggling with, this book provides a great lens of understanding the roles parents sometimes play in those scars.
    The blessing
  11. The Elements of Counseling ; Scott Meier & Susan Davis
    Good bookshelf book for anyone working in the counseling realm.
    Counseling
  12. The Four Loves ; C.S. Lewis
    C. S. Lewis unpacks the 4 types of love in Greek that are used in the New Testament.  He simplifies huge ideas with lots of fun stories along the way.
    4 loves
  13. The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming ; Henri Nouwen
    I think the Prodigal Son is a story I could read every day and get something new out of it every time.  This narrative is all about Nowen’s interaction with Rembrandt’s The Return of the Prodigal Son and highlights so many perspectives through which to interact with the grace of the Father in this parable.
    Prodigal
  14. The Triple Bind: Saving Our Teenage Girls from Today’s Pressures and Conflicting Expectations ; Stephen Hinshaw 
    This book explains and summarizes so well the challenges of girl world, but is written like a Psychology paper and can be kind of hard to get through.
    triple bind
  15. Who Do You Think You Are?: Finding Your True Identity in Christ ; Mark Driscoll
    As far as Identity in Christ resources go, I really enjoyed how this book and sermon series discuss Identity in Christ based on the book of Ephesians.
    WYTYA


    What’s your favorite book you read this year?

A letter to my 16 year old daughter on sexuality

I’ve been hesitant to post this and really hesitant to post anything lately.  The Lord has been walking me on a sweet journey of seeing my inadequacies and being blessed by His grace.  Recently, I sat with a few 16 year olds to talk about sex.  What was weird to me was that in a world where they are so inundated with sexualized messages, they were uncomfortable having a conversation about how their bodies were created or what healthy sexuality looks like.  I think one of the worst responses the Church can have to the sexual revolution is silence.

As a project for one of my classes I had to write a letter to my daughter in various stages of life.  I really resonated with the sweet stage of adolescence, both as I work with teenagers and am so freshly emerging from it.

I don’t write this to share all of the wisdom I have or to claim to be an expert, especially in raising a daughter. These were my very honest thoughts that I’ve been encouraged to share.


 

My little girl,

Happy 16th birthday! It’s so hard to believe you’ve grown up so much. I can’t put words to how much I love you and how proud of you I am. You are so smart and so brave and so beautiful and I am so blessed that you are mine. I know this has been a hard year, but there’s a lot to learn from it that I want to share with you. New things have been happening with your body for the past few years, like I’m sure I sound like a broken record to be saying. I know sometimes you hate this. You hate when you really don’t feel like running in PE, but you feel like you can’t say anything to your teacher. You hate those breakouts that come once a month. You hate when your brother asks you if you’re on your period just because you’re frustrated with him. You hate the way that men look at you in restaurants or at the grocery store, because you’re just a little girl, my little girl! It’s also new that you really do desire to be with boys and many of your friends have started having sex. I am so proud of the commitment you have made to saving yourself for marriage. Thanks for being really open with me when that’s hard. I know where you are coming from probably so much more than you believe on all of these things. Yes, sometimes it feels like ALL of your friends are having sex. Sometimes it sucks to be a woman. And sometimes it’s confusing to know what to do with all of those feelings in this phase of life. Don’t forget just how many times we’ve talked about what a bad choice it is to be having sex right now. There is no magic eraser for STDs or the heartache that follows. Your choice is such a wise one that I am so grateful I made too. Also, don’t forget that I am always here when you want to talk about any of this. I know that you’ve been taught many messages between school and church about saving yourself for marriage, but remember there are some things they teach that are really sad and really not true. I know they’ve taught that boys are so full of testosterone and girls have to keep them in line. They told me the same things. The truth is I know you have sexual desires too. All girls do. You’re not weird. It’s completely biological and natural. And boys’ brains are not the pile of meat they are sometimes painted to be. Boys can be really deep and think really beautifully, so give them a chance to be. Also, Christians a lot of times like to teach you that purity is worth it for your husband. Let me get on my soap box here. Purity is important for you. Protect YOUR body and YOUR heart. They’ll go on and on with this idea about how your life begins when the right man pursues you, but your life began 16 years ago. You are not complete when this dream guy comes along, because the truth is he might not. You are just as significant and fulfilled in The Lord without any man.

I know it’s really hard right now that a lot of your friends are having sex. It’s especially hard when those girls are the ones getting guys attention and you’re not- despite how much I know you love hanging out with your dad and I on a Saturday night ;). When I was your age, I really struggled with believing that those guys weren’t giving me attention because I wasn’t pretty enough. I know we’ve talked your whole life about the standard our media sends us that is fake and unattainable and just plain mean, really. I love how comfortable you are in your body. I love watching you dance so freely at weddings, play so fiercely in your games, and just be so comfortable with your friends. But please please remember that when boys aren’t giving you attention because you won’t have sex with them or any of those risky steps along the way we’ve talked about, first, those aren’t guys whose attention you want. But second, your beauty is not defined by their attention or their attraction. The wounds sink deep when you see all of your friends around you with guys when you really want a guys’ attention, but never for a second believe that they would give you attention if ___________________. You never have to change anything about you for the right guy. It’s tempting to meet this need for attention with other things that we’ve talked about too like sexting or looking at porn. I know right now you’re rolling your eyes a little like “oh my gosh, mom, shut up. You literally talk about this all the time.” and I love that you can hear my voice in your head when you start to think about those things. Remember that any image you send never goes away and while it feels like no big deal in the moment, it is. We’ve talked about how porn is so disgusting and can do a lot of really bad things. Baby, it’s a nasty industry full of nasty people and we just can’t support it. Yes, you desire sex. You were created that way. And one day, if you are going to get married, you’ll have an outlet for that passion, but don’t let porn be your outlet, by either becoming it or watching it. You heart is worth so much more than that.

Yes, there has been some conflict with your friends. Girls can be so sweet but also so mean. Let me first remind you to always be a good friend like I’ve seen you be your whole life. So just like we’ve talked about above, girls are making many bad choices at your age and in your social circles. This is not a time to abandon them or to talk about them. Girls are really bad about being emotional bullies. Be a friend.

I hate that we live in a world where we have to talk about these things, but unfortunately they are a part of life. Know you can always talk to me about anything!! I feel like I was just in your shoes.