This “read” via Audible by Brené Brown is one of my favorites I’ve ever listened to. I am deeply passionate about gender equality so this text grabbed my attention. As I listened to Brené’s discourse, I quickly found myself sending the link to Men, Women, and Worthiness to countless friends and colleagues.
I’ve not been able to find this work in print. I listened on Audible and it’s also available as an audio download on Amazon.
Brené discusses in depth the shame women experience each and every day of not being enough: working and not being the classroom mom, sitting in the carpool line with no make up on, etc. She shares research and meta-analyses that she’s performed but I found what brings the message of Men, Women, and Worthiness so close to home is Brené’s own personal stories interspersed, like the woman in the carpool line saying, “Working so much must be so hard on your family” and the way she named and handled the shame she experienced.
I love the way Brené highlighted and discussed shame, bringing light to the everyday experiences of shame I face and carry, often misnaming or suppressing. She shared how advantageous it is to know your shame triggers and know the way you respond. Upon listening to Men, Women, and Worthiness I began practicing phrases she offered when I would experience shame, “Don’t back down. Don’t puff up. Stand your ground” I would chant in my head in moments of shame until I felt the strength to again walk out of my shame cave and show up present, knowing just how vulnerable that presence is.
This work also beautifully discusses the value of friendship, empathy, and “me toos”. Brown shares a graphic story of a grandmother who was passed out on the couch from drugs. The mom needed her body moved before her kids came home from school, so she called a friend to come help her move the body. And we need more friends like this, especially as women. Friends we can call to move lifeless bodies that carry so much shame for us and know they won’t judge us.
In the midst of Men, Women, and Worthiness, Brown described being challenged in her research to reach across the line and not just study and teach on the shame women carry, but furthermore the shame men carry- about their bodies, jobs, confidence, etc. She found there was little research in this field and very few discussing the topic of shame for men.
I greatly enjoyed Men, Women, and Worthiness, wanted more upon its conclusion and would recommend this read to anyone.